You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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