Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
