my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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