i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
