if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I will be naked everywhere
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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