Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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