they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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