carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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