And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
