Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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