all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
