i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
