What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
