you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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