thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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