She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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