just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
