Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
