I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
