I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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