I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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