I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
