would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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