I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
