I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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