And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
