I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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