he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
