I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I could fuck to npr.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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