shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
