we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
