so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize