3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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