Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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