Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
