2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
