anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
