my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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