just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
