singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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