# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
