Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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