doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
