Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
