He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
