I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
