Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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