is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
