try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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