he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
