Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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